Back to the Drawing Board
When Working Harder Isn't the Answer
I love everything I get to do and be a part of, and sometimes I know that all I need is to really give myself a fair shot. There are times I feel like I'm always "doing" but not always "producing" if I can be honest. And all that does is cause me stress and frustration. Then I get discouraged by lack of results, and really I have no one else to blame. Cool, I've figured that out, so how do we adjust?
I had to zoom out and take an audit of the time I was spending on a task and/or tasks that I wanted to accomplish, and really be honest about whether or not I was actually being productive. What I realized is that there wasn't anything necessarily wrong with switching in and out of work mode. It's more like I wasn't honoring my "out of work” mode. I've never had a problem with working, (at least not working on my dreams) but I've always been very good about maintaining my routines, and recently I've come to realize that I haven't had a proper routine. When I say routine, I mean those moments when you wake up earlier to have time to yourself in silence, spend your quiet time, etc, little did I realize how much I needed this time.
The last time I’d traveled to Chicago, I felt like I was on the edge of losing my ever-loving mind. I found myself frequently over-stimulated, desperately needing to sit in silence, crying unprovoked, and so on. This was odd to me because I LOVE Chicago and everyone that I get to do life with in Chicago. For the first time in all the times that I’d traveled I was beyond ready to come back home. I sat with that. When I got home, I found that the chaotic feeling didn’t exactly subside. Rather this turned into an absolute need to be alone. I had to unpack this emotion (as one does), and to make a long explanation short, this was a direct reflection of the chaos I was feeling within myself.
Prior to leaving and bleeding into when I was in Chicago, and for the week or two after I got back. I had lost my sense of routine and direction with myself. I wasn’t prioritizing quiet time. I wasn’t sleeping well, I was beyond burnout.
So here's what I learned: I needed to go back to the drawing board. In any endeavour you begin someone will probably advise you to assess your “why” and this is so that on the hard days you have something deeply rooted that keeps you anchored to the bigger picture. This is the same concept I had to put into practice.
What am I working towards?
Why am I working towards it?
What does a successful day look/feel like to me?
When I imagine the dream version of me, what do her days look like? (my personal favorite)
These are some of the questions I ask myself to bring me back from my spiral, or even when I’m feeling unmotivated.
I do want to take a quick moment to acknowledge that you are allowed to have a lazy day. You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to say no to plans that drain you more than they would fill you. You are allowed to BE. However, I would discourage you from letting that run too long.
I would challenge you to reflect, and reflect often. Reflect more often than you speak to people. I would challenge you to take that reflection and put it on paper. Most importantly, talk to God about it. Like you would a friend, or better yet, a mentor, talk to God. Present Him your ideas. Present Him your frustrations. And most importantly, bring Him your worries.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
There is a tension between something being beautiful, and fulfilling while also being exhausting.
People often glamourize the hustle. The hustle is necessary. Hard work is honorable. But that doesn’t negate the fact that it can also be hard.
Choose your hard. Remember the bigger picture. Set your non-negotiables. Spend time alone. Spend time with people who fill your cup. Spend time on hobbies that bring you joy (I need to work on this one too).
The most rewarding feeling as a creative, an entrepreneur, a business owner, etc is the personal development that comes with the process should you choose to do the work. The journey of becoming.
Becoming the version of you that knows the vision, and also knows how to fill their own cup.
The work is worth it, and it’s also challenging. This has been one of the toughest seasons of my life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
So to the fellow creative, entrepreneur, business owner… I see you. I hear you. I’m right there with you. If the mission is on your heart, there’s a reason for it.
Assess, redirect, and keep going.
