I’m Living the Dream I Prayed For — So Why Has It Felt So Hard?

An honest reflection on entrepreneurship, overwhelm, and remembering who carries the burden.

Life has been so full lately. Full of watching my dream career become reachable and watching how the Lord has been allowing me to walk it out. Full of realizing how much I needed friends, and community, and the fact that I have just that. Full of reflecting and bringing myself to tears of joy thinking about how kind and Good my God is. Although all of that has been beautiful and I am forever grateful, the last few weeks have been rough. And I’ve decided to share this in case you are also a new or aspiring entrepreneur and/or creative, and if you’ve ever felt this feeling of defeat. Not from a place of how to fix it, but rather from a place of you are not alone.

In retrospect, I’m starting to see it as a little bit exciting. Exciting to know that the good and the bad are all a part of the journey. 

It’s hard. 

It can be lonely. 

But it will always be worth it. 

Worth it to know that you’re giving something your all. You’re putting your gifting and calling to work. But I want to note that just because you’re operating in your zone of genius, or walking in your calling doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy.  

There’s always a storm before the rainbow, and in this case, with every trying season that you endure comes followed by a season of breakthrough. 

So these past few weeks have been hard. I’ve battled uncertainty, I’ve felt alone, I feel like no one gets it. I feel like I want support but at the same time, don’t feel the need for it because I understand that not everyone will “get it.” I’ve wrestled with overwhelm. I’ve wrestled with irritation. I’ve wrestled with the feeling like I’m not doing enough, or that I’m not far enough along. I’ve wrestled with wanting to throw in the towel. Yet in the same breath, in this season, I’ve refined my business, I’ve refined my vision, I’ve refined my branding, I’ve refined everything. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬ ‭

This is what I needed to remember. This is where I was falling short. The moment I decide to take any matter into my own hands, I will fall short. 

I am merely human, so it’s not always my first instinct to surrender to the Lord. I have a history of doing everything in my power first, and THEN asking the Lord to intervene. This has proven ineffective countless times. 

So friend, I share this in hopes to encourage that feeling inadequate is very human, feeling like you’re about to pull your hair out is part of the game. But the decision to keep all that pressure on you is not. The decision to feel like you need to carry the burden alone is not. Navigating calling and purpose is so fulfilling, but you can’t do any of that without the very one who created you. 

“Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10‬:‭4 

So I want you to know that you’re not alone. I want you to know that your efforts are not in vain. The Lord honors a hard worker. But I encourage you to take the time to zoom out, and lean on Him, and find your rest in Him.