Closeness Over Clarity

The Purpose You're Searching For Is Found in Proximity, Not Plans

I’ve learned a lot this season about what it means to actually lean on the Lord. Within that I’ve navigated some pretty big decisions. From navigating relationships, starting a business, diving back into projects that He placed on my heart long ago, to finishing my degree, and moving states. I can fully tell you that I am still on this very rollercoaster ride, but my perception has shifted — immensely. 

I’m sure at some point you’ve heard the saying “God’s not a vending machine” and if you haven’t, now you have – a saying used to remind christians that you don’t put prayer requests in like a quarter and expect to get your choice of outcome. While I’ve always tried my best to not function this way, I will also tell you that I have, at the very least, subconsciously. Getting closer to the Lord, this looked different in different seasons. This can even look like looking at prayer as a strategy rather than an open line of communication with the very one who gave me the vision in the first place. 

Recently, I was having a conversation with my sister, where I was telling her that having grown up in the church, I fear has almost put a hindrance on my faith. I say this because it’s almost as if I became too comfortable with the idea that God “will” or “He won’t.” This thought started to condition me to think that I didn’t need to present anything to Him, therefore I simply wasn’t talking to Him. The very common misconception of: “well, God already knows, so what’s the point? ” when scripture actually tells us the opposite:

“Then Jesus said, come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  Matthew 11:28-29

Recently, I had been navigating a decision about someone I was interested in. Someone I care for, genuinely, but I was starting to feel that there were a lot of factors tearing me away from him. In some ways, a lot of ways, things were great. He’s kind, gentle, loving, and loves the Lord – and mostly, we have a history. Even so, there was a part of me that couldn’t shake that I really needed to walk away. I talked to my friend about it, and I shared with her that I’d been praying through it and he was still around, but I didn’t feel peace about it, but he was great. You can imagine my confusion. She shared something she felt on her heart: “sometimes God won’t do exactly what YOU want, but He will give you the discernment on whether you need to walk away.” The lack of peace was a feeling I gained in getting closer to my Father. God wasn’t going to blatantly make this man disappear from my life…but the lack of peace about the union was my answer.

I want to highlight this for a moment, in case there is a sister reading this navigating the same difficult decision. I want to encourage you by saying that God is kind. He is a good Father, and He is not a God of confusion. He will indeed be clear. He will bring clarity, but clarity in and of itself shouldn’t be what we’re ultimately “seeking.” Instead seek to please the heart of the Father. If you’re not sure what that looks like, I encourage you to seek wise counsel. Surrender “it” anyway, and see what God tells you. Invite Him in and He will move. 

However, I share this to share the importance of seeking a closeness even when clarity isn’t what you receive (right away). Other than a man, I’ve also experienced this want to control the matter in different areas of my life. I think this can also look like not knowing when to take the leap into the business plan, a leap into joining a small group, moving to a different state, moving BACK to where you came from….or walking away from that friendship. 

The idea of gaining “clarity” comes from a place of control, and I’ll even venture to say that it comes from fear. When we seek clarity, (in the case of coming to a complete stop) it’s like we’re afraid to take the leap. When we walk in closeness with the Father, we begin to step into a place of confidence. Not cockiness, but rather a comfort of knowing that you know the heart of the Father well enough to know whether your next step will be something that pleases and glorifies Him, or if it’s actually not something He would want for you. When we seek that clarity, and operate from a place of control or fear, we’re operating from a place that doesn’t trust God and the plan He has, even worse… we’re not trusting the dream HE gave you. 

There is power in proximity.  The same way that your circle impacts you – those you choose to be around you can impact the way you talk, the way you dress, and even the way you think… IMAGINE what can and will shift when you walk in proximity with the Father?? 

So, from a fellow naturally controlling girly, to a girly that may be experiencing the same, please hear my heart when I tell you that sometimes (most times) the answer you seek, will come when you simply draw near to the Father.